Road Map To Owning Your Energy

Perfectionism and fear hold us back.

These last few months have been a bit of a challenge for me… not gonna lie. Here in Southwest Florida, June through October (especially August and September) is ‘out of season’ and a lot of people leave the area to travel or to go to where they consider is home. For the full-time residents like myself, this means we are less busy (but don’t book too much long-term because everyone is coming back soon and we need to be ready for ‘season’). ‘Less busy’ means I’ve had lots of extra time to work on projects and courses, set goals, and take a really good look at some demons lurking just under the surface.

Perfectionism and Fear

Simply stated, I am a recovering perfectionist. Once a perfectionist, always a perfectionist… but, I’ve learned, sometimes – OFTEN, done is better than perfect. Perfect holds us back. Perfect is indefinable in many respects, and yet, this concept presents itself over and over again throughout life. But, what is the underlying reason for this?

FEAR!

Fear of what, you ask? Fear of anything and everything.

Like this blogpost, for example… or any of them… what if someone reads it? Wait, don’t I want someone to read it? I’m not entirely sure lol. I’ve written so many and only published a few because, well, fear. Or, how many times I’ve written a social media post and then deleted it… Or, how many people have requested to be on my email list and I hardly ever send anything because I write something and then don’t want to clutter people’s inboxes… The bottom line…fear holds us back! (I’m assuming I’m not alone in this.)

And what is ‘perfect’, exactly?

I was taught from a young age to always do my best. When I did what I thought was my best, I was asked if I could still do better… again and again. While this had many benefits (like, attention to detail), there’s a flip side which often rears its ugly head. Fear of failure… and fear of success… fear of disappointment (but, whose disappointment?)… when is it ever ‘perfect’? I could review the same email over and over again, and always find something to change to make it better. At some point, I have to make a decision – either choose to click send or not. The struggle is real.

I sit frozen, unsure of what my next best move is, so I do nothing…

I’ve taken a good, hard look at my fears over the years and there are times I really and truly believe I have conquered and they will rise no more… and then there are other times… (can you relate?) I sit frozen, unsure of what my best next move is, so I do nothing… or, really, I just move on to another thing that requires less energy to make a decision, which for me, is typically okay because I have lotsss of projects going at any given time… however, that thing then stays on my list, staring at me (often highlighted in red at that point) until I finally choose to do something about it. I’m happy to say, today, there is hardly any red on my list. I’ve worked my practices, and made decisions. Hooray, hooray!

While I used to really get stuck and unable to make a decision, today, I remind myself of my practices and I can get moving again.

Yoga and Meditation

Yoga and meditation practices are just two tools we can use to develop a better understanding of ourselves. I’ve been meditating off and on since 1992, with a very regular practice since about 2015 and I’ve been practicing yoga since about 1999. My practices have taught me that we are different people every single time we show up to our mats or meditation spaces. We are different people every time we leave these spaces. We are constantly evolving, making thousands and thousands of decisions each day which will determine the course of our futures. (No pressure!) Each moment in itself is absolutely perfect, because it is exactly the way it is supposed to be. When actively engaged and participating in the present moment, there is no past and no future – there is only the now. The peace in this knowledge and understanding is pure bliss!

Worry does not and can not exist in the present moment because worry is essentially living in the future.

There are some yogis who practice the same sequence of the same asanas (poses) decade after decade, and each experience triggers a new insight – some new knowledge about the mind, body, or breath of which they were previously unaware. We practice to maintain balance… practicing equal parts of effort or steadiness and ease, sthira and sukha. We practice to encourage awareness and mindfulness, self-love and self-acceptance… we practice to let go of judgment and expectation. Where there is no expectation, there is no disappointment.

We practice aparigraha, non-attachment. This is a great one! When the mind begins to go in what seems to be a never-ending loop, we practice letting that thought go and awaiting the next. Envision for a moment, clouds in the sky… You observe one that captures your attention for a few moments… but it moves and you don’t attach. You simply allow your mind’s focus to shift to the next cloud. You can train your mind to work the same way when it comes to your thoughts. Remember, it’s a practice!

Stress 

Stress is a phenomenon we experience when we perceive our demands to be greater than our available resources. When we allow our minds to exist in the present moment, we realize our available resources are more than ample to conquer any task. There is always an unlimited supply of resources if we look to the right places. It is only when we close ourselves off to tapping in to this unlimited supply – perhaps because we are fearful of asking for help – that we feel we must do everything ourselves – and yesterday – and absolutely ‘perfectly’ – held up to the incredibly high standards of an intangible quality – that we experience stress. Now, most of us, when we’re in the midst of what we perceive as a stressful situation, aren’t analyzing this in such detail, but this is where our amazing yoga and meditation practices do their best work. With regular practice, over time, we actually change our thought patterns to recognize there is always a bigger picture.

So many choices…

So, what are our choices? Well, we could spend years in therapy trying to figure out our triggers, we can develop a regular practice of yoga and meditation in our quest for enlightenment, we could evaluate the energies present as depicted in our astrological (natal) chart to see what energetic options we have available to us… we could engage in any number of introspective practices which encourage us to look within to develop a better understanding of ourselves, our patterns, and our tendencies. For us to do our best work and be our best selves in this life (without constantly feeling ‘stressed’), we must know ourselves, what our high side energies are, what our low side energies are, and remember, these are practices…

The danger in, “Well, that’s just the way I am!”

But…but, it’s in my chart! (One of my projects this summer was an astrology course I completed… natal chart readings anyone?) My Sun is in Cancer in the Fifth House, which means, for example, I have energies within myself to express from the standpoint of self-protection when it comes to risk-taking behavior – or anything I perceive as risky (it always comes down to perception)… as in, anything less than absolutely perfect… but, you know what? There are high sides and low sides to everything – balance. This also means I have energies within myself to express in other ways – such as, sensitive and nurturing to others… I understand – I get it – I empathize more than you know – and sometimes I’ve given too much, but within these times, I’ve learned my lessons – boundaries. For me to do my best work in this life, I need to set my fears aside. I cannot allow my fears to run the show that is my life (I swear one day I’m going to find that hidden camera), or I can help no one. It is so very important to not take one aspect of our personalities and say, “well, that’s just who I am.” We are never stuck and never a victim to past karma. We always have the ability to make different choices. We always have just as much energy to express positively as we do negatively. We choose our expressions thousands of times each and every day which determines who we become… choose wisely.

Grateful for these practices. <3

I choose

I choose my future to be different from my past. I am ready to experience epic transformation. Are you?

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